2 bdrms/1 bth, laundry, parking, heat. Please?

Wow. Finding a new place to live is straight up exhausting. Seriously, I think my stress levels hiked to the top of Mt. Tam last week and forgot to take me along, which sucks because that would have been really cool.

We have lived in our little place in SF's Inner Sunset district for about five years. It's a super duper apartment, right next to Golden Gate Park and just blocks away from tons of restaurants and watering holes. It has all the sunlight of a greenhouse, beautiful hardwood floors and a remodeled kitchen. And, jeez, it's above an ice cream shop -- how cool is that?!

When we found it, we knew right away that it was the place for us. Then after we moved in, we thought we made a huge mistake. The street noise was nearly unbearable. We could hear women walking in heals, skateboarders, dogs howling and people going home from the bars at 2 a.m. That's not to mention the firehouse two blocks away, the registers constantly dinging at the grocery store across the street and the 8 a.m. prayers over the loudspeaker at the adjacent Catholic school.

Somehow we got used to the noise. I now find some of the more distant city noises comforting.

Then came the winter. Yes, it's California, but that just means we are not prepared. The apartment has no working heat system and the windows are those old sliding, double-hung panes that have no insulation. I can see my breath when I'm getting ready in the morning, and it's annoying because it fogs up my mirror.

Again, we have somehow made this work.

However, it is time for an upgrade. The four things on my must-have list:

1. Central heat/insulated windows (This is just a standard of living.)

2. Parking (I cannot put up the good fight any longer.)

3. On site laundry (A homeless guy's tightie whities hitching a ride in my washer a few weeks ago was the last straw.)

4. Two bedrooms (I'm old enough to provide my guests with a bed.)

At first we were considering another place in the same neighborhood. Then we thought it might be cool to live closer to the beach. Now we're thinking of moving out of the city altogether, to a little place up north called San Rafael. Awesome downtown and it's closer to wine country.

However, finding a place with all four must-haves seems to be nearly impossible in our price range. Most apartments we've seen have three of the four, with parking and laundry as the wild cards. Then there is the weird sense of competition. Every landlord is like, "Oh! There's a couple just like you with a 1-year-old and they really liked it a lot, too! Better get your application in quick!"

Damn couples with 1 year olds.

Anyway, the search continues. And maybe February isn't the best time to move. After all, longer days and 70-degree weather in the city are just around the corner.